Monday, August 29, 2011


My favorite Internet Hate Machine, Mr. JayG, has shared with us this morning something that is quite literally causing me to loose control. As I type this, I can barely keep my fingers pressing down like a hyena's fangs upon the bones of a enemy.

In the Peoples Republic of Massachusetts, in the city of Bostongrad, Councilors Michael Ross and Tito Jackson are trying to combat knife crime by requiring knife sellers have license to be allowed to sell knives.
The video shows them and their concerns about how children could buy 4 or 5inch bladed knives for as little as ten dollars. Of how the government should have a say in where knives are bought and sold.

I've been mad before. I've been fighting mad before too. But now I'm BITING MAD. I suddenly recall the Tolneps from Battlefield Earth and how it was often threatened to strip members of this poisonous alien species naked and throw them into the streets to be bitten to death by small children. Well, I wouldn't want the guys to be naked. Think of the children! But I'm certainly cool with the rest of it! I would gleefully point and laugh before joining my youthful comrades. The smell of fear and tang of idiocy would prevalent upon my bloody maw. Their much masticated bodies would then be left in the councilman's executive mini-fridge as a grim reminder of the cost of moronic tyranny.

Seriously and obscenely though, talk about your useless fucktard feel good hippy pointless piss-gobbling piles of reeking bloody worm-ridden horseshit. This ain't like guns boys! THERE IS A KNIFE IN EVERY HOME. Usually several! They do not require highly advanced technology to fabricate, like firearms. All you fucking need is a fucking ROCK and a piece of metal, and a little elbow grease. Fuck! Metal is optional! Go ask your corrections officers you fucking little mini-Stalins. What about internet sales, you dirty-diaper-huffing morons?! GRAGHHHHHHHHGGGG- *insert an additional 5 minutes of hair pulling, obscenties, and 3 gallons lathery rage froth* This happens each time I listen to these guys talk.

If I have not said it before, I'll say it again. Knives are basic tools of human survival. Necessities for both modern an ancient living. They are more important that your existences, my egomaniacal Councilors. Your petty attempt to control to profit the machine with more government workers and more tax payer money, is an affront to civilization. Without even biting you, you've left me a bad taste in my mouth.

And no I am not advocating biting these two to death. That would be horribly unhygienic. I like kids! Even alien ones. I would not want them to get something horrible from these guys. You know how big city government types like to roll. Around. In a bed full of hookers and blow. I imagine the crabs in Mass. are most imposing. I shall just have to hope these turkeys try to drink the rain.

No comments: